My Buddha Angel in Chengdu


David Amram

Originally published in The Evergreen Review Issue 109 in 2004.

It's 5 a.m. in Chengdu China
I can't sleep
a wink

Staring out the window
water drips on dishes
in the sink

A bike goes by
a young gal sits
side-saddle on the back

looks like Bhudda's angel daughter
sent from heaven
dressed in black

She glances up
her dark eyes
make the morning come to life

Suddenly I realize
long ago this angel
was my wife

Wanted now to tell her
when we married
many years ago

That I never would have left her
if I knew then
what I now know

Waited for what seemed
1000 years to see
those eyes again

Hoping someday I could tell her
that our love
would never end

Never dared to tell her then
because of all the love
we shared

It was more than I could handle
even though
I really cared

Now it's many lifetimes later
here in Chengdu
5 a.m.

My favorite wife
from an earlier life
the sweetest one of all of them

Once she told me in our lifetime
our true love
would never die

And that even if I left her
Bhudda's angel
still would fly

Now she tells me broken hearts
will all heal themselves
in time

And that all the pain I caused her
now is gone
except for mine

Now in Chengdu
through the window
she's come back to me again

Riding on the back seat
of a bike
side-saddle with her friend

Guess that since she passed me by
there's only one thing
I can do

Get myself a new gal
and a bicycle
that's built for two

When in this reincarnation
when I've found
a brand new bride

Maybe I'll find out
it's Bhudda's angel
riding by my side

Telling me wherever
we have been
and through whichever life

Through all our reincarnations
she has always been
my wife

Now its 7 in the morning
Chengdu streets
are filled with light

I'm still staring out the window
as the day
is growing bright

Waiting by the window
need to see
my true love's eyes again

when she rides by
on her bicycle
side–saddle with her friend

Then I'll tell her that I love her
this time I know
what to do

Waiting by the window
for my Bhudda angel
in Chengdu