Poetic Template for Introducing a Featured Bard


David Alpaugh

Originally published in The Evergreen Review Issue 119 in August, 2009.

(Just fill in the Blahs!)

Blah Blah is one of the poets writing today who really matter. Blah Blah's first collection won the Blah Blah Blah prize from Blah Blah Press. Blah Blah's latest book—Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah—has garnered rave reviews from The Blah Blah Journal and Blah Blah Quarterly and has been nominated for a Blah Blah Blah award. Leading magazines and anthologies where Blah Blah's poems appear include Blah Blah; Blah Blah Blah; and the Blah of Blah Blah Blah. Like all poets, Blah Blah has taught creative writing in the prisons, as well as at the College of the Blah Blahs, and now teaches at The University of Blah Blah's Blooeyville campus. In praising Blah Blah's "amazingly risky" work, that Blah-Blah-winning poetry-legend Blah Blah Blah sez (in a blurb so lurid you'd give your genitalia to procure like verbiage for the glossy backside of your own self-published or subsidized book): "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!" What an honor to introduce this unique American poet (who speaks for aspiring wannabes everywhere) here to read to the two dozen of us gathered in this room today. Please welcome (with THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE):