The Empress of Yogurt

 

David Alpaugh

 

The Empress of Yogurt

Call the owners of health food bars

The low cholesterol ones, and bid them whip

Lactose-free curds for concupiscent herds

Of cougars, dreaming of that size six dress!

Let such wenches dawdle with boy toys

(Spring flowers—promising loose capers).

“This negligee makes me look fat!” they blurt.

The only empress is the empress of yogurt.

 

Take from the transgressor of meal,

Packing the Brie-ass globs, that seat

On which she loitered man tails once

And lipo-suck it. Botox her furrowed face.

If bionic cheeks protrude, they come

To show how old she is and numb.

Let a 40-watt light-bulb ease the hurt.

The only empress is the empress of yogurt.